March 5th, 2024
by Leah Farster
by Leah Farster
Even today, I fight the temptation to avoid closeness with anyone, for fear of hurt.
This certainly abounded, when we got into a holiness church, because God forbid that I let my true self show, for I would surely be judged, so I learned to put on "the face" as best I could, but the funny thing is, sin ALWAYS finds you out and it will eventually be exposed! I would sit in the pew, during my darkest days, and cry through the service, not so much from conviction, but because I was in rebellion. If I could have only had Yada with someone there, that could have helped me, but praise God, I was filled with the Spirit of the Living God, and He got me through those though times, and brought me back into close fellowship with Him.
But marriage proved to be the last strong hold, because it is the most vulnerable. If I allow my husband to Yada me, he may reject me and I had had enough rejection in my life. Even today, I am tempted in this area.
The Psalm of Yada 139
You have searched me and yada (known me intimately) me!
You yada (know me intimately) when I sit down and when I rise up.
Before a word in on my tongue, you yada (know me and my thoughts intimately) it completely.
Your works are wonderful; my soul yada (knows You intimately) it very well.
Search me, O God, and yada (know me ever more intimately) my heart.
Do you have this relationship with God? This yada intimate knowing?
This certainly abounded, when we got into a holiness church, because God forbid that I let my true self show, for I would surely be judged, so I learned to put on "the face" as best I could, but the funny thing is, sin ALWAYS finds you out and it will eventually be exposed! I would sit in the pew, during my darkest days, and cry through the service, not so much from conviction, but because I was in rebellion. If I could have only had Yada with someone there, that could have helped me, but praise God, I was filled with the Spirit of the Living God, and He got me through those though times, and brought me back into close fellowship with Him.
But marriage proved to be the last strong hold, because it is the most vulnerable. If I allow my husband to Yada me, he may reject me and I had had enough rejection in my life. Even today, I am tempted in this area.
The Psalm of Yada 139
You have searched me and yada (known me intimately) me!
You yada (know me intimately) when I sit down and when I rise up.
Before a word in on my tongue, you yada (know me and my thoughts intimately) it completely.
Your works are wonderful; my soul yada (knows You intimately) it very well.
Search me, O God, and yada (know me ever more intimately) my heart.
Do you have this relationship with God? This yada intimate knowing?
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